Recipes for the bachelor who isn't afraid of heart disease

For the bachelor there is little more satisfying or efficient than the pork beast. Bacon, fried by itself is the perfect accompaniment to an infinite variety of sources for the daring single cook. And yet, there is even more flavor and satisfaction to be uncovered for every dish that touches the pan, especially so as a only a small number of dishes is actually needed to satisfy a man’s appetite for a self cooked meal. It would seem that many bachelors don’t know that such tasty dishes can be created in a single pan. Or they are badgered by women, whose pants they wish to enter, to eat healthier more complex meals. This then, is a guide to all free men, who do not fear heart disease. Enjoy. All recipes yield one serving except where noted.

Bacon sandwich

• Bacon
• Cheese
• Mayonnaise
• Bread.
• Black pepper
• Cook bacon, sprinkle with pepper on both sides while cooking.
• SPAM can be substituted for bacon. Cut SPAM as thin as possible and cook till hard and brown.
• Toast bread.
• Spread [mayonnaise] on both slices of bread.
• Put cheese and bacon on bread.
• Serve with beer.

Sausage and Rice

• Loose pork sausage
• Rice
• Beans (optional)
• Salt
• Black pepper
• Butter
• Cook rice.
  
• Cook sausage in butter until it’s no longer pink.
• Sausage can be substituted with and combination of bacon, SPAM, or ham.
• Drain beans and combine with sausage.
• Add rice to sausage and bean mixture.
• Season to taste with salt and pepper.
• Serve with beer.

Hash browns and pig

• Pork meat.
• Potatoes O’Brien
• Cheese
• Salt
• Black pepper
• Cheese
• Egg
• Cook pork meat. You can use either bacon, sausage, SPAM or any combination of the three. Alternatively, you can use any left over meat or meat product found in the refrigerator.
• Add a handful or two of potatoes to pan. Season to taste with pepper and salt.
• Cook till done.
• Sprinkle cheese over potatoes.
• Add egg to potatoes and stir to combine.
• Serve with beer.

Mac and porker

• Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
• SPAM
• Cream Cheese
• Cook macaroni and cheese according to directions on box.
• Dice SPAM and cook in a separate pan till brown and hard.
• Add SPAM and cream cheese to macaroni and cheese. Mix to combine.
• Serve with beer.

That’s it. The well read bachelor really doesn’t need to know how to prepare anything else. More complicated fare such as steaks and hamburgers can be purchased from a respectable restaurant and the bachelor is best to not attempt these dishes at home as they frequently call for the use of such accessories as vegetables. Vegetables simply shouldn’t be cooked by the eager amateur as they require specialized equipment, like deep fryers, to prepare the ingredients in such a manner that the natural flavors are replaced with the more agreeable flavor of beer batter. For this reason, matters of convenience, and loose waitresses, things like hot wings and onion rings should only be prepared by trained professionals in the controlled environment of a sports pub. It’s worthy of note to mention that the ingredients from any of these recipes can be combined with any other or all contained herein to create a meal for you and your buddies.

Range report for the Lee Enfield No.4 MkI

The only real barometer of a weapon's performance is what impact it has on a hard drive. You can talk about your ballistics gelatin and modeling clay until you're blue in the face, not me brother. 2 - 6 metal platters evenly spaced and secured inside a metal box, that's where it's at!

The Lee Enfield has a long battlefield history, and a richly deserved reputation as a battle rifle. The British soldiers were trained to use volley fire, a method of rapidly cycling the weapon to produce covering fire, that was only possible because of the rifle's velvety smooth action. This was so effective that it's said the German forces in WWI frequently thought they were being engaged by machine guns. This is all the more impressive when you realize that the rifle is fed from a 10 round box magazine that was charged with stripper clips.

Battle Ready

The rifle is chambered in British .303, a rimmed 30 caliber cartridge that packs an adequate punch for nearly all North American game and delivers about 3500 joules, depending on the powder load.

I can hear you asking though, "What what's all this about hard drives?"





Here's a neat and clean entry hole;

Like a 30 caliber cookie cutter

A much less neat exit hole;

Boom!

Note that this round penetrated the densest part of the hard drive, the core of the spindle. After exiting the hard drive, the round hit a rock the size of my head that was on the hillside directly behind where we set up our targets. It still had enough energy to not only split the rock, but also start a smoldering brush fire that had to be stomped out. You many sneer, but I was impressed.

This was Sellier and Bellot 180gr FMJ at about 40 yards from a standing position using the battle sights. It took a few rounds to get dialed in, and once I figured it out the shots were pretty consistent. This rifle has a 1947 manufacture stamp and it's a tack driver. Like the 30-06 though, a comparaible round, the ballistics get a little iffy past 100 yards, and some significant elevation is required. This is why the rifle comes with graduated sights as well as battle sights. It's a heavy rifle though, and it didn't take very long for me to get tired and my placement started to wander. On the plus side, the heavy weight of the rifle set off the recoil real well. 

A heavy, but comfortable rifle.

Over all, it's a good performer and an excellent rifle, especially considering that I spent less than $100 on it (minus security and FFL transfer).